"What do you mean you have an addictive personality?"
Well, that was what her psychiatrist said.
"Yeah but what the hell does that mean? I don't see people flocking to hang out with you."
No, she gets addicted to things easily.
"That's horseshit."
Now, I wasn't upset about the fact that my girlfriend had addictions to various things. No, that was old news. What I was upset with is this ass-backwards psych terminology.
It's as if a bunch of recent psych grads were sitting around naming personalities.
"Shy."
"Crazy."
"Ooh, good one, Marcus. Addictive."
"Addictive?"
"Well yeah, someone who gets addicted easily..."
"Well, why don't we just say that? Someone Who Gets Addicted Easily."
::sigh:: "Because, Trent, it won't fit in the easy-to-read graph we're putting in the next Psych 101 book."
"Oh, I see."
And that was the last question asked about it.
1. Causing or tending to cause addiction: an addictive substance.
2. Characterized by or susceptible to addiction: an addictive personality.
Number two is the polar opposite of number one. How can one word mean two opposite things? It's as if someone confused cretin had some strong influence over Merriam Webster. You know that second definition must have been added much later than the first one. Moreover, probably sneakily added.
"Ahem, attention. Attention, please. These are the following words to be added to next year's Silver 1950 version of the Oxford Dictionary. They are as follows:
"Crankshaft
Freeze-dry
Weeble-Wobble
Microwave
Cantankerous
Ant-i-bi-otics
Zamboni
and addictive persahumphh.
That will be all"
"Didn't you hear me?! Addigmdn persmdmfphh. No more questions."
