This English is so bad it teeters on the edge of an ironically funny t-shirt, or even a fashionable one. If you can't read the smaller writing between the two Indian hands, it says "YOU ARE WELCOME".
"Sorry, we're open, you are welcome." The fact that this is printed on a shirt and displayed in the shop window on what seems to be in or close to the center of a shopping district (see: pedestrian traffic, brick pavers) seals this as a definite product of Japan. And by "product", I mean it is birthed of Japanese culture.
In no way do I say this out of spite or ill-will. In fact, I have come to fully embrace Japan's loose usage of English to the point that this horrible mash-up of an incorrect sign and an English phrase book preliminary makes me reminisce of my time in Japan. That fact that these two phrases are probably one of the first few phrases a foreigner in the the US would learn, this shirt almost becomes かわいい, or "cute", in the Japanese sense. For these reasons, I would wear the crap out of this shirt.
If you have any qualms with my hypothesis that this is indeed a Japanese location, refer to the store banner in the reflection that in clear katakana says コンタクトレンズ, or "contact lens".
Update: I have been informed a sign with this written on it is in the US, too. I'm not sure which came first, though. Anyone?
In wake of all the post-Fukushima energy reduction under their Cool Biz campaign, Japanese underwear firm Triumph Japan has unveiled their iced bras. Given showing this amount of skin is very rare in Japan, the unveiling has been deemed a publicity stunt (source).
The Super Cool Bra, as it has been titled, also happens to be a pun that most Japanese will miss. This "cool" as a Japanese loan word is not connected with the meaning "hip" as it is in most English speaking countries.
The company, which has a long tradition of novelty launches that are
never made available for public sale, said it conceived of the bra in
response to a need to save energy during the hot summer (source).
The Cool Biz campaign is known by over 96 percent of the Japanese public, 33 percent of which work for companies that actively engage in turning up thermostats on their air conditioners to reduce consumption of electricity.
The ice pack bra also come with a sprig of mint and a Japanese wind chime, maybe seemingly just to make the wearer feel refreshed. The Japanese wind chime, or furin, is usually hung from the eaves of a house. The music produced by the chime is said to have a psychological cooling effect. The chime is moved by a long card called tanzaku on which is usually written a traditional poem.
It is currently unknown, though, how wind will sound the chime unless women are walking around with only their bras on. This, of course, would never happen given Japan's general fear of the sun due to the generally pale Japanese skin. In fact, this is more often the case:
Japanese sun protection - visor and sleeves (photo)
Japan definitely has a thing for cute things. Unfortunately, when these cute things finally reach the US they're usually watered down to their commercial basics (e.g. magnets, Hello Kitty pins, stationary, etc.) until most of us think Japan is just shipping over it's factory refuse.
I'm not usually a guy that gets all mushy over cute things. But after
being exposed to Japan for two years, and my wife for almost another,
the kawaii-craze is starting to rub off on me. The Japanese idea of "cute" differs from that of Western countries—the only problem here is that I can't quite remember my perceptional roots after being exposed to Japan for so long (feel free to help me here).
This show here definitely embodies all of the TV aspects to "cute" programming. They have a bunch of small kittens—some of which are a little sleepy—romping around in an area full of various sized pots with no objective in mind beside celebrating cats that successfully pick a bowl and look cute. There is "cute" music in the background, and Japanese TV, almost notorious for their use of sounds and slapstick humor (think 1930's America) supplies a plethora of cute sounds.
The concept sounds really lame. And to be honest, if I would have read this description a few years ago I would have avoided the video. But having been accustomed to Japan (the culture, their mindset, their TV programming) I find this to be the audio/visual equivalent to crack. I would sometimes peruse my TV in Japan for shows like this one to learn the easy Japanese language they use but inadvertently expand my sense of kawaii.
Can anyone tell me why this is not so cute in the Western hemisphere?
Here is another reel of the same show in which they insert different things into an area with cute dogs or cats including a blow-up dolphin while it's being blown up, and the neko-nabe from above. (Be sure to take the player off mute.)
Fukushima University researchers have designed radiation-measuring collars to fit on some of the wild monkey population in the surrounding wooded areas. This, of course, is to analyze the higher radiation levels still present since the March 11, 2011 earthquake, tsunami and subsequent meltdown of reactors at the Fukushima power plant.
Since the monkeys spend most of their time in trees while occasionally dipping to the forest floor, the gps-equipped collars will be able to measure ground and air radiation levels. Supposedly, the monkeys are key in this new project because their area is well known and will help track wildlife exposure to radiation. Also, the monkey collars are supposed to be more reliable than the current readings from helicopter.
These cute little guys even bathe in hot springs.
Now, I understand that the collars can be released even by a remote, and that, well, the monkeys will be living in the radiated areas anyway... but doesn't it sound a bit like exploitation? These little guys are smart enough to bathe in hot springs. They're like little people (that may occasionally throw poop in a fit of anger).
It just seems a bit backwards to employ an itchy and invasive collar on monkeys to study the degree of "not well" a human accident still is. Why not just attach a few "collars" to trees in different areas at varying heights?
Why not just send a few current TEPCO heads out into the forest with dosimeters (hazmat suits optional)? Ah, they're getting sued by their shareholders for sheer incompetence anyway.
This time of year happens to be the time for Sports Festivals at most (if not, all) schools in Japan. (It really irks me that an outdoor sporting event like the Japanese Sports Festival would happen to coincide with the beginning of the rainy season. But that's another topic.) So, when I say "all schools", I mean all schools from high school on down to nursery schools. Everyone spends about a month practicing strange events. (If you're a little lost now, please refer to my Undokai Article—if only for the pictures...)
Every Friday I travel to one of my farther elementary schools to teach English.There is a nursery school right across the street. From where I sit in the teacher's office, I can hear when all the little nursery kids are outside playing. Now, you may or may not know that I love kids, especially the little ones. I gush over the new first graders that when given a chance to ask me any question can't seem to form a complete sentence or ask a real question. It goes something like this:
Teacher - Okay kids, now you can ask Mr. Dan anything you want. What food does he like? What's his favorite color? Let's find out! Me - Ummm, you! (pointing to one of the serious-yet-seriously-interested face kids). 1st Grader - What's your favorite bug? Me - Hmm, I like butterflies and ants! Okay, next...you! Next 1st Grader - (stands up, pushes his chair in) I go to English class on Wednesdays. Me - Oh really? Teacher - That's not a question. Nice try. Remember, ask Dan-sensei a question. Me - Ok, you, in the back! Another 1st Grader - This morning, I woke up and my dog was barking at the. (sits down with blank expression) Teacher - That doesn't make any sense. We can understand what you are trying to say. Okay, hmm... Kotaro, ask Dan a question. Kotaro - Do you like bugs?
I guess my problem here is with the teacher. Either that or the confines of my job. I just wanna lay down on the floor and help these kids build a block castle while they tell me about their barking dogs.
This kind of conveys my feelings.
But this scene is very low on the adorable scale when compared to nursery school kids participating in Sports Day. They have their little reversible red or white hats on. They march like dandy little soldiers with their arms swinging higher than their heads. There's always a few kids that are either just too young or they forget everyone is watching them so they tend to drift off into la-la land and/or pick their nose. This is especially funny when the gun sounds for a race and one kid is left standing at the starting line until the teacher scrambles out on the field and gives him or her a push in the right direction. And that's not to mention when the kids finally does start running it becomes obvious he hasn't exactly fine-tuned his motor skills yet and is still about 5 years off from understanding the concept of "dork". So, his strides are way too high and wasteful while his small arms (ending in plump fists) pump in strange directions.
I could just squeeze that kids cheeks till they split open. Out of love, of course.
So, every Friday, sitting in the teacher's room, I can here those little romper-stompers lining up for the pre-Sports Day stretch. Now, it may be important to know that Japanese schools seem to be underfunded, and nursery schools seem to be in an even worse position financially. You can tell this by the Dumbo-like character statues planted in the playground right next to jungle-gym equipment that make John Travolta (circa Saturday Night Fever) seem like someone from I-Robot. This school also has a fantastic metal slide from the second floor balcony all the way to a sandbox in the playground. (I haven't seen this used, though, so I'm guessing it was outlawed along with lawn darts and the Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab which included uranium ore).
So, of course, their warm-up/stretching song is this little gem called "Hoto Poppo" maybe from the 1950s or 60s. Please, indulge in this throwback, and imagine it blaring at unsafe sound levels out of scratchy speakers.
Pigeon Coo Coo
(roughly translated)
Coo, Coo Coo
Pigeon coo, coo
If you like beans
Come down
Let’s eat altogether
Coo, Coo Coo
Pigeon coo, coo
If the beans are delicious
Eat one and fly away
You might not have noticed, but everyone is laughing because these brave actors are mimicking little preschool kids. Now imagine that song with these kids:
Now what's funny about warm ups like this is that it's not just cute little grade-schoolers and toddlers doing these stretches. In fact, they're quite common in the Japanese workplace. Here, a bunch of construction/factory workers (?) warm up with their work belts on.
And this next clip is of the business man variety with the most popular "Radio Calisthenics" which used to be broadcast every morning (it might still be).
Go Go Japan! Stay Genki! Let's healthy body! This concludes the Japanese lesson. Bow. Thank you.
