Tokyo like a Richard Scarry episode

This screenshot doesn't do the video quality any justice.

Usually I have something insightful to say. Today, I'm just gonna sit back and let this beautiful time-lapse video of Tokyo do the talking. This video is called ちちゃな東京 (Chicha na Toukyou), or, Little Tokyo and is by Darwinfish105. Enjoy.

In a related post (by title only), please enjoy the open, yet camaraderic racism that is South Park: Little Tokyo.

Is TEPCO really to blame?

TEPCO, doing what they do best (source)

I imagine you're staring at your computer screen thinking nothing more needs to be said about TEPCO (if you are up-to-date on Japanese events). You might want to read this article, though.

In a similar by-line, I never thought I would post more about TEPCO (or want to) given my prior post: The Beast that is TEPCO. However, here I am.

It is true: TEPCO is a corrupt company, and even after a complete firing of their upper management, corruption is still in the Japanese news. And if it's in the Japanese news that means it was likely OK'ed by the government. (Is it safe to say that?)

The article I recently read was a simple one declaring that the recent indictment charges against TEPCO were dropped because TEPCO could not be held legally responsible as they "could not [have] predict[ed] the real dangers of such a massive earthquake and tsunami." The article goes on to say that the company's "failure to carry out countermeasure construction after it projected in 2008 a scenario of a huge tsunami of more than 15 meters, cannot be considered socially irresponsible behavior."

申し訳ございません. How many times can they apologize? (source)

Yes, the article was simple, but Alas! the implications were great.

The first large implication can be understood through a few analogies. Five earthquakes have occurred equal to or greater than the Tohoku earthquake in the last century (source). I know the the US plans watersheds, zoning, and planning based on at least 100 year flood plains. And that is just for a flood! A nuclear plant, in earthquake-ridden Japan, on an unprotected coast...wouldn't you think they would have to prepare for a bit more? In that situation, the plant owners should have been thricely as cautious and prepared. "Preparedness for a large-scale complex disaster was insufficient; and they were unprepared for the release of a large amount of radioactive materials into the environment" (source). What are (or were) the current standards for the protection wall (which was flooded by a long-shot)? 

In 1964, Alaskan Good Friday earthquake had a magnitude around 8.4 and spawned a 201-foot (67-meter) tsunami in the Valdez Inlet (source). Of course this was a rogue wave with the perfect circumstances, but that happened in the last 50 years. Furthermore, that wasn't the biggest tsunami by a long-shot.

Japan even birthed the word Tsunami! - 津波 (source)

The other great implication is that it is likely TEPCO was only admitted it's negligence when the government forced them—and sometimes the apologies were decades late. Why would a company apologize out of the blue if they had thought their misbehavior went undetected? That's just it. I'm sure the government knew a lot more about the TEPCO follies (essentially having them by the balls). So, when TEPCO didn't cooperate with the government (maybe even in terms of bribes), the government tells TEPCO to admit to past incidents. (Is it safe to guess that?) Also, there are countless other times that TEPCO has hidden illegal incidents. Look for yourself...I'm not even going to try to cover it here.

So who really is to blame? Sure, TEPCO is a backwards company. Even after the mandated upper-level restructuring (to put it politely) TEPCO continued to be the naughty little boy it always was. Covering radiation-reading equipment with lead? Come on. But there are scumbag companies in every country. America is not one to point fingers. The real question is: Who watches TEPCO? Might I suggest: the Japanese government?

I'm afraid this 1987 epic comic by Alan Moore beat me to the punch.

Yeah, definitely the government. And the Japanese citizens, the 大人しい bunch that they are have mostly rebuilt their homes and lives—most without pointing fingers or theorizing the point of the chain-of-command that may have been a little negligent (to say the least). Besides the few local residents and activists that had filed the criminal complaint against Kan and his ministers (two years after the events) and a handful of other smaller organizations looking for justice, there isn't much Japanese activity surrounding the event that has had a devastating impact on the domestic agriculture, economy, food-supply, power-supply, and general health as well as global effects (some still unforeseen).

Japlish Friday - Ass Man

Now you can say all you want about how the Asians have funny English words and phrases on their shirts unbeknownst to them.

But I'm pretty sure this Japanese guy bought this shirt with some knowledge of the words and their meanings. Maybe, the tight pants will get him the women he wants...the women with the right kind of derrière (because he is a rump connoisseur). Or, maybe his tight pants accentuate his own glutes and he's proud of them. Not that there's anything wrong with either.

For some reason, I'm leaning toward the latter explanation.

Tomato juice helps your liver process alcohol

This may cure hangovers, or by saying so, make Kagome rich

According to a recent study by Kagome and Asahi Group Holdings, drinking tomato juice will help you sober up faster (source). Apparently, the tomato juice helps to cleanse your liver by making it secrete more of the enzymes needed to break down alcohol.

The study included an experiment of people given about two shots of shochu (焼酎, a Japanese liquor similar to vodka). After the two shots of shochu, the control group was given a pint of water while the experimental group was given a pint of tomato juice. Those drinking the tomato juice sobered up an average of 50 minutes faster than those drinking water.

Kagome and Asahi agree that a tomato would most likely work the same way, although it was not studied.

This is great news considering Japan loses an estimated $11.5 billion every year to hangovers according to a recent survey of close to 3,000 people (source). I wonder if Japanese government and businesses will take this news seriously and actively engage in promoting tomatoes after enkai. I could picture the market for トマトパワー (Tomato Power) After-Party Shooters. (Japan is often wont to either fully embrace something or just let it fall by the wayside, e.g., influenza masks; the insurance hikes on those with large waistlines; or even baseball for that matter.)

Beer for all ages! (photo)

Now, for those of you who don't know, Kagome claims to be Japan's largest supplier of ketchup and tomato juice (source) while Asahi is one of Japan's leading breweries with 40% of the Japanese beer market (source). It seems a little suspicious that a leading beer company and a leading tomato company "discover" that tomato juice can reduce the unwanted effects of alcohol. I would have liked to witness that first meeting where the two company heads discussed ways to join forces and increase money.

Did Kagome and Asahi formulate this as a publicity stunt? Or, were there scientists waiting for commercial sponsorship for their tomato juice findings? What are the chances that two companies put their heads together and found a scientific match for both of their leading products? I'll leave the musing up to you the reader.

Japlish Friday - Sorry We're Open

This English is so bad it teeters on the edge of an ironically funny t-shirt, or even a fashionable one. If you can't read the smaller writing between the two Indian hands, it says "YOU ARE WELCOME".

"Sorry, we're open, you are welcome." The fact that this is printed on a shirt and displayed in the shop window on what seems to be in or close to the center of a shopping district (see: pedestrian traffic, brick pavers) seals this as a definite product of Japan. And by "product", I mean it is birthed of Japanese culture.

In no way do I say this out of spite or ill-will. In fact, I have come to fully embrace Japan's loose usage of English to the point that this horrible mash-up of an incorrect sign and an English phrase book preliminary makes me reminisce of my time in Japan. That fact that these two phrases are probably one of the first few phrases a foreigner in the the US would learn, this shirt almost becomes かわいい, or "cute", in the Japanese sense. For these reasons, I would wear the crap out of this shirt.

If you have any qualms with my hypothesis that this is indeed a Japanese location, refer to the store banner in the reflection that in clear katakana says コンタクトレンズ, or "contact lens".

Update: I have been informed a sign with this written on it is in the US, too. I'm not sure which came first, though. Anyone?

Japlish Friday - foriegn ladies who wait in the road

(photo)

This one's not so bad. I get it. No hookers. Don't bring hookers inside this place. You couldn't really disobey this sign and then say you didn't get the gist of it without looking like an ass.

This sign is probably on the outside of a Japanese love hotel. And, in this dodgy area, I'm sure the foreign hookers wait on the road to get business from drunken guys leaving bars and izakayas. Although Japan is generally a very safe, community-like place, I would be sure to steer clear of the dodgier parts of the city at night. These can be recognized by the abundance of flashy lights, crowds of young drunken people, countless bars, izakaya, and liquor stores, and the general cheap and/or suspect looking massage parlors and love hotels.

It may be interesting to note that the Japanese are usually pressed for alone time. Many young couples looking to get intimate utilize love hotels as if they were a vending machine. In fact, many of the love hotel electronic room choice boards resemble that of a vending machine.

Japlish Friday - Stuff Only

Stuff Only! (photo)

So apparently there is only "stuff" allowed here, but to confuse people even more, "stuff only" is inside the prohibition sign meaning that furthermore, "only stuff" is not allowed here. So maybe if there is a little bit of stuff and a little bit of something else, it would be OK. Make sure to ask the stuff...staff about this one.

If we peek into the Japanese realm here, it says "koko yori saki wa nyuujou dekimasen" or, "No entry beyond this point." After more consideration, you might have been able to connect this to "Staff Only"...and hence, the answer behind this riddle.

"The Japanese Tradition - Sushi" mockumentary

Here is a comical video on eating sushi at a sushi bar. There is a lot of culture here, but, a lot of the things these comedians do are downright absurd so it might be hard for some of us to pick up on. Guess what is wrong in this video in the comments below!

Here's my favorite part:

In the case of business colleagues the lower ranking staff must pour for their superiors first. "Maa maa maa maa". You must say this when pouring a drin.k The person receiving the drink must say, "Oh toh toh toh." "Maa maa maa maa." "Oh toh toh toh." "Maa maa maa maa." "Oh toh toh toh." "Maa maa maa maa." "Oh toh toh toh."

Maa maa (まぁまぁ) means something like "Now, now" or, in this situation, "Here you go, have a lot." Otto (おっと) means something like "Oops" or, in this situation, "That's far too much." So, while the one guy pours a lot and says, "Here, drink up," the other guy is saying, "Ok. Ok. Woah. Too much!" While it is Japanese tradition to pour for others and offer lots, you might see how this over-the-top repetition and insistence is not exactly customary at a sushi restaurant—or anywhere for that matter.

We're soon approaching Japanese Giant Hornet season again

Here is a new thing to add to my Kirai Japan list.

The Japanese Giant Hornet season is coming around again which is a shame because these guys are a force to be reckoned with. 90% of stings occur from July to September due to the worker bees increased size and activity especially around August (source).

An average of 40 people die from their stings every year making it the most lethal animal in Japan (video below). These Godzilla hornets have poison that is actually less venomous than the average honeybee, but they inject much more: 4.1mg compared to a honeybee's 2.8mg (source).

The Japanese call these guys Oosuzume bachi (オオスズメバチ, 大雀蜂) which literally means "Large Sparrow Bee". They grow up to 2 inches long and, with their ferocity, put normal hornets to shame. They have super-bee strength, too, being able to life up to 6 pounds each. 

Check out this video of a colony of bees outsmarting one of these Japanese Giant Hornets. Apparently, the beehive can handle a scout and hide the evidence of any foul play. 

This time the bees have won. But if one of these Japanese Giant Hornet scouts successfully alerts his friends with a pheromone, there will be blood. Here, 30 of these hornets wipe out a nest of 30,000 bees to get at their young. 

What should you do if you ever encounter one of these suckers? 

Well if it seems like it's coming near you, you should lower voice and and lower yourself to the ground as to not seem offensive. Then you should make your escape (source).

Apparently these guys have amazing endurance.They can fly faster than you can run (25mph)...and fly about 60 miles in a day. That's a scary thought. Also, with their pheromone capabilities, they could technically spray you with bulls eye for any other one of these hornets to hunt you down.

Their endurance is so phenomenal that the Japanese, as well as a few others, have marketed drinks made from these hornets' food.

Vaam, which stands for vespa amino acid mixture, contains the same amino acids that are in the liquids secreted by hornet larva (source). The hornets feed their colony larvae with the most meaty parts of other insects. But then, in a very unique occurrence, they actually get fed by their larvae as well.

Some athletes swear by these drinks. I had always seen Vaam in Japan, but had no idea of its contents. Now, I really want to test it out.

What a strange world.

Japlish Friday - Horny Care

Apparently, they offer the total package. Anyone else make reservations?

The problem with the mistake on this shop window is that this shop may never know it—unless of course some amused ex-pat or tourist informs them.

What image was this shop really looking for? If you look up "horny" in in English you find that it also means "strong" or "callous" similar to "rough hands". If you look up "horny" in Japanese you probably find that it has a relation to "keratinized skin" in that it needs to be exfoliated. 

Hence, HORNYcare = exfoliation treatment.

Softbank and Paypal team up pushing new smartphone card reader

Masayoshi Son, richest man in Japan, with the striped tie. Make money, make money.

Softbank, a telecom and internet corporation, is teaming up with PayPal on the joint venture "PayPal Japan". The companies will each invest $12.5 million to "revolutionize digital payments in Japan" (source).

It's no surprise Hiroaki Kitano from the Softbank side will serve as the CEO of the business agreement; while revenue for PayPal is in the early billions, Softbank revenue reaches into the early trillions. Kitano is a senior vice president and director of Softbank Mobile Corp, with relevant experience from his time with Yahoo Shopping (source).

The joint venture will also push the Paypal Here credit card reader that plugs into the audio jack of a smartphone. The card reader add-on will retail for 1200 yen, or about $15. (When the card reader is released in the US, it will be free.)

After viewing the demo via the PayPal introductory page, I've become very skeptical of the whole process. I can't imagine a NYC pretzel vendor or cabbie handing the customer his smartphone to type in a tip and sign the transaction. What's stopping the $2.50 pretzel consumer from running away with a $200-$400 smartphone plus a pretzel? In Japan, I don't see this as being such a problem with such low crime rates as a result of their general family-like moral system.

Also, unless I had a special stylus signing pen, I'm pretty sure my signature on a smartphone would look like a few pixelated circles and lines. How's that going to sit with my bank that is tirelessly scanning for fraudulent charges?

Currently, Japan is a very cash-based society. I'm wondering the speed as to which something like card reader might catch on. It's strange that Japan is one of the most technologically advanced countries but still largely operates outside the lines of credit.


Softbank Chairman and CEO Masayoshi Son hopes that in five or ten years from now, Japanese consumers won't need to carry wallets (source). As for me, I find any statement from this guy (the richest man in Japan) laughable.


The irony here is Masayoshi Son supposedly directs some of the Softbank commercials which include what are thought to be hidden messages that dishonor Japan. (Son is Korean but later naturalized as a Japanese citizen.) In a line of popular commercials, a black man has a dog for a father (which doesn't sound so crazy for a commercial plot). The black man, then, is inu no ko, which in Korea is one of the worst curse words. Given that there exists a stereotype that Koreans don't like Japanese or blacks, you may see some of the disputed evidence.

 Here another example, for obvious reasons:

When a bunch of Japanese celebrities march out of a dog's anus, it really makes you start to think...

New Japanese bra for the warmer months

In wake of all the post-Fukushima energy reduction under their Cool Biz campaign, Japanese underwear firm Triumph Japan has unveiled their iced bras. Given showing this amount of skin is very rare in Japan, the unveiling has been deemed a publicity stunt (source).

The Super Cool Bra, as it has been titled, also happens to be a pun that most Japanese will miss. This "cool" as a Japanese loan word is not connected with the meaning "hip" as it is in most English speaking countries.

The company, which has a long tradition of novelty launches that are never made available for public sale, said it conceived of the bra in response to a need to save energy during the hot summer (source).

The Cool Biz campaign is known by over 96 percent of the Japanese public, 33 percent of which work for companies that actively engage in turning up thermostats on their air conditioners to reduce consumption of electricity.

The ice pack bra also come with a sprig of mint and a Japanese wind chime, maybe seemingly just to make the wearer feel refreshed. The Japanese wind chime, or furin, is usually hung from the eaves of a house. The music produced by the chime is said to have a psychological cooling effect. The chime is moved by a long card called tanzaku on which is usually written a traditional poem.

It is currently unknown, though, how wind will sound the chime unless women are walking around with only their bras on. This, of course, would never happen given Japan's general fear of the sun due to the generally pale Japanese skin. In fact, this is more often the case:

Japanese sun protection - visor and sleeves (photo)

Japan's very unscientific views on contamination

So, over a year gone now and Japan is still deep in the mess left from the March 11 earthquake / tsunami / radioactive meltdown. I'm sure most of you have seen the crazy before and after pictures of the progress as the Japanese have ganbare'ed to their limits. Also, citizen pressure has led to the deactivation of all but two nuclear power facilities which will in fact be shutdown this whole month (source).

And, although shareholders plan to sue TEPCO (Tokyo Electric Power Company, who is at fault for the meltdown) for some 67 billion dollars, I still find myself wondering why TEPCO isn't shelling out money to the government and the nation. Why isn't TEPCO bankrupt right now? Why hasn't some other group stepped up to show that nuclear power can and does work in the right hands?

All that aside, sit back and laugh at these completely unscientific yet very agreeable perspectives on Japan's contamination. Thanks to Testosterone Pit who says these have been circulating the Japanese interwebs for a few months now.

Japanese centenarians help longevity study

Dan Buettner, discovering the secrets of longevity. photo

Diets only work on two percent of any population.
Exercise routines are usually given up within 10 months.

If you're trying to live healthier, these quick fixes probably aren't working for you. Or at least that's what this guy is telling us.

To find the path to long life and health, Dan Buettner and team study the world's "Blue Zones," communities whose elders live with vim and vigor to record-setting age. At TED, he shares the 9 common diet and lifestyle habits that keep them spry past age 100.

Buettner studied groups in Sardinia (Italy), Okinawa (Japan), as well a community in Costa Rica and Seventh-Day Adventists in California for their extraordinarily high rate of centenarians.

In Okinawa, Buettner has found that, aside from eating healthy and meshing exercise into your everyday life, the natives don't have a word for "retire". (The two years you are most susceptible to death are your first year, and your retirement.)

Instead, the Okinawan people have the word 生き甲斐, or ikigai, which roughly translates to one's reason for living, or as Buettner puts it, "the reason you wake up in the morning". When Buettner asked these Okinawan's what their ikigai was, they each could spout it instantly.

It kinda reminds me of that scene in Fight Club:


Guys, What Do You Wish You'd Done Before You Die?

It makes sense, though, that having your life goal(s) figured out would definitely add a couple years to your life. Now, what do I want to be when I grow up?

Suprisingly, "community" is among the top factors. Buettner says, "We know that isolation kills. Fifteen years ago, the average American had three good friends. We’re down to one and half right now."

The Ever-So-Shy Japanese

Recently, on a crowded train to Hiroshima, I sat reading a book. A lady sat down next to me after entering the train. After about 2 minutes, she placed her large purse in between us both. The purse was a boundary between her and I; between a Japanese person and a foreigner. I wasn’t sweating. I didn’t smell. I didn’t accidentally rub arms with her. A stop later, someone left from the seat in front of us. The lady stood up and sat in the empty seat. So, instead of sitting next to a gaijin (foreigner), she preferred to change seats and sit next to a Japanese person (who she didn’t know either).

Situations like this occasionally happen to us foreigners in Japan. Now, I’m not so worried about the treatment of foreigners. I’m worried about the attitude of Japanese. In a sharp contrast to Americans, the Japanese seem very nervous about talking to foreigners, strangers, and even people they see on a weekly basis. For example, Yours is a small grocery store on my island. I (and most of the residents) know all of the workers in the store. We have seen their faces a thousand times while they serve us. In America we would ask these workers, “How’s your day?” “How’s the family?” or simply talk about the weather. In fact, most Japanese grocery stores restrict their workers from using small talk with customers.

This small talk is almost absent in Japan. In America, we sometimes even use small talk with strangers waiting at a bus stop, waiting in a line, or almost anywhere. The guy next to you is wearing a Rangers shirt, so you amiably tell him he’s not welcome here. I find that one of the pleasures of living is talking to people. Discussion. Communication. It seems rather solitary to not talk to different people everyday. Is it so invasive to ask a friend, “How’s the wife and kids?” Besides uchi (inside/close friend) groups and the concept of haragei (reading others’ thoughts) it seems Japanese don’t know each other very much at all. Of course, this is only my perspective as a foreigner…but this communication seems important in an increasingly global economy.

How do Japanese businessmen accomplish global relations? They don’t speak in contradiction to their companies, especially in meetings. They follow one chosen plan of action from the start to finish (but who chooses?). During meet and greets they’re most likely either very shy, or considering the enchantment of foreigners, maybe very talkative. And then, at the after party, beer is always a saving grace that allows them to open up and ask sometimes very intrusive questions. Remember, in Japan, all is forgiven and forgotten at drinking events. Well, unless you’re a foreigner.

Japan has an exploding population (98.5% Japanese, 10th largest in the world) on a small island (the size of California, 73% mountains). The Japanese have a tight knit society…but not in the American standard. They are closed away from outsiders, then from Japanese strangers, then from people they don’t work with, and last from everyone that doesn’t reside in their own home. They have concentric rings of personal relations in which only very close to the middle (their home) do they actually open up…and even that space seems rather sad and lonely at times. (We’ll at least they’re avoiding this).

In my experience, Japanese adults usually have around two to four close friends. These are friends with which we share secrets, go out to eat, stay at home and watch a movie, and have inside jokes. In America, I have around eight close friends. It’s not uncommon for girls to have 10 or more close friends. It seems rude and almost invasive to be concerned about someone’s personal life in Japan and I’m there’s a correlation with the low friend to acquaintance ratio. I feel like I’m not an anthropologist when I have found a part of a culture with which I just can’t come to terms. But, the average Japanese person, to an extant, seems lonely, overworked and a little controlled.

A few anthropologists (Japanese and foreign) think the government has a lot to do with the inside/outside ethos as well as the views on work-ethic and personal relations. To make a metaphor, it seems each Japanese person is blocked off in their own cubicle and can only engage in the necessary business communications. Their personal life, inside jokes and fun are limited to the pictures and personal affects pinned on their wall. To be fair, this dull existence occurs in America too but not nearly to the extent it does in Japan.

To be fair, while Japan is busy worrying about not inconveniencing other people by what they say, some Americans are doing the exact opposite. After you comment on the weather, these people tell you their whole family history. They tell you about their grandchildren, show you the photos, and then almost slightly intrigue you with a story about their cat’s intestinal problems. You have to sternly cut them off just to make it home to catch some Adult Swim (is that still on tv?). Some Americans don’t know when to shut up.

Also, some Americans may spread themselves too thin with their countless friendships. My brother, for example. You need to text an invite, be on a list, and have luck on your side just to buy the dude a beer…and even he’s focusing more on the girls that just walked in and he eventually just wanders off. What the fuck! Maybe there is a happy medium between the shy/scared Japanese and the overconfident/talkative/annoying Americans.
Any thoughts?